My Beloved Prayer Painting from Koinonia

One of the concepts I am focusing on this week, thanks to my Flora Bowley intuitive painting class, is being bold and brave in my work. As I approached this weekend, I knew this conference would be a great opportunity for me to actually put that into practice, so I bravely chose to paint during a worship service in front of a lot of women, to face my issue of not feeling like I 'get' the worship experience. I had never done this before, so the entire concept had me totally out of my comfort zone....thankfully! 

The word 'beloved' always brings me great pause. It is one of those words my spirit wrestles with because I don't comprehend my relationship with Christ that way....but I wish I did. This weekend I was fortunate enough to spend it with a great group of ladies at the Koinonia conference in Panama City. To be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to go....not because I didn't want to connect with these women or express my faith, but because I struggle with the concept of public worship and didn't want to feel awkward in this moment. Rather than give into that fear, I faced it, chose to go, and chose to paint through the service as a way to connect with my faith in a process that I am comfortable with...through my art. 
 I started with writing my intentions and prayer for the day on my paper and as my spirit led, my brush followed. I wish I could say there was an easy flow to this but like always, I processed my angst through the moments of prayer. It was an interesting few hours as I deliberately chose colors and lines and marks in response to words said or feelings felt. Though a bit odd at first, within the first few minutes of committing to use my gift through the service, I was totally tuned in and that my friends.....was....the miracle. 

For the first time I didn't feel like a fish out of water in a church service. I know that sounds odd, especially to many folks who know me and know that I was raised in church my entire life. As much as I love church, love the connection, love the lessons, I just never quite got the worship part of it all until I was allowed to let my paint flow. 

Being tuned in was great, but it didn't prevent my head from colliding with my heart and there were moments that gave me great pause. After painting a while, creating many layers, and feeling the angst arise, I stopped, took a deep breathe and two visions came into play. The first one was a person with their hands raised high in great praise for their heavenly father....their beloved . The second was much more profound. I saw the image of Jesus, on the cross, hands raised, and the idea that he is the true beloved hit home with me. I can't imagine how Mary must have felt watching her son crucified....her beloved child. It was a humbling thought at the sacrifice of the life he gave.

Here are some of the images of the process as I began and painted through the service with a quite meditation time afterwards. 

I began with a prayer....

Then began to add the colors inspired by words and music....

As Christie sang....I painted...

At first, the image of an angel came to be....but much angst followed.

At this point I was frustrated...with the ideas in my head and the tug of my heart.

Then I saw it....two forms, one in the same and I knew instantly where the painting was headed.

"My Beloved" mixed media on paper.

Song of Solomon 6:3

"I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine

Though quite abstract, I love the marks, the energy, the tension in this painting. It connects me with the common thread in that my faith is a lot like this...marked up, full of tension, full of beauty, and so worth fighting for.  This painting  carries that message forward for me and using my gift to share that message  brings me great peace. I may not always understand the purpose of why images appear or don't, but I do trust the message and am grateful for it. 

This experience taught me so much. It taught me that being brave is valuable, not only to me, but it helps others become brave themselves. I also learned that there is no cookie cutter version of what worship should look like. For one person hands being raised is great, for another being still in quiet prayer is perfect, and for me, letting my paint flow is the best way I connect with my faith, and that is beyond comforting. 

I am grateful to the ladies who hosted this weekend, especially Monica and Flow! Koinonia is a treasure for so many and without the nudges along the way I would have missed out on this BRAVERY!

Embrace Your Place and Go With Grace Friends!

The Cross for Koinonia

Almost a year ago my life was at a turning point, a really difficult one. My dear friend Monica reached out to me and invited me to the Koinonia womens conference her church was sponsoring. In one brief, difficult moment, I acted on faith and went.  I had no clue what path that would set me on spiritually, physically, or emotionally, all I knew is I was getting away to the beach for the weekend and would be surrounded by lots of women who loved God and each other.  The details of that weekend can be found in a post from last February, what is important here is the spirit of koinonia, the spirit of fellowship that I found there that helped bring me back to sanity. 

Monica asked me to consider painting a cross for this years conference and I instantly knew I would do it, that it was a God thing. Problem is, I really didn't know what that word meant, or how to pronounce it very well. I had no clue that most of my life had been filled with moments of koinonia, but as I began to pray about it and study the word those moments came flashing back vividly, and I knew I had lived a life surrounded by the love of God and the love of friends. 

"Koinonia" in Greek, means communion or fellowship in simple terms. It actually has many deeper meanings and applications, but the foundation of its meaning comes from the act of communion with Christ, and through him, with others. All my life when I was with groups of friends, at church, or surrounded by others who prayed and fellowshipped I was experiencing koinonia with them, and God was with us.

Part of how I create my crosses and angels is that I begin to have a conversation with God about their purpose. From there, the image begins to build in my heart and mind and I research the important details that must be expressed in each one. This cross was no different. 

A few months ago I started studying this term and praying about the nature of God and what its meaning means to me.  I came across a reference to koinonia that expressed its relation to the phrase, "one another" in the bible, and that stuck with me. I truly believe the nature of God is that he chooses to share his love and grace with me on a daily basis, so that I can share it with those I meet and encounter. That concept may be simple, but it's message is purely koinona, the one of sharing our lives with Christ and with others. The passages in the bible having to do with the  "one anothers" are pretty simple too. This list, along with the passages, was made so you could grasp the connection of what it shares in common with koinonia. 

A powerful example of what koinonia should look like can be found in a study of the phrase “one another” in the Bible. Scripture commands us to be devoted to one another (Romans 12:10), honor one another (Romans 12:10), live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16; 1 Peter 3:8), accept one another (Romans 15:7), serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13), be kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32), admonish one another (Colossians 3:16), encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 3:13), spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24), offer hospitality (1 Peter 4:9), and love one another (1 Peter 1:22; 1 John 3:11; 3:23; 4:7; 4:11-12). That is what true biblical koinonia should look like.
http://www.gotquestions.org/koinonia.html

Once I had the understanding of what this word meant, how it applied to me, and how God wanted me to apply it to a painting I got to work. The cross is the central form, with the heart at it's center, symbolizing the heart of Christ and the love we share for him and for one another. The words 'One Another' cover the cross, because that love is meant to be shared, not kept for oneself. The rays of the sun are symbolic of the light that Christ shines in this world, and when we carry his love with us, his light shines through us as well. The people are together, in communion with Christ and one another. I thought about having them interacting with one another but I thought the posture of prayer was a binding act that Christians share while they commune together. The road is simply that, the one we walk down but are never alone. It leads us into opportunities to share God's love with a world in need. The hill that the cross is standing on has 20 hearts enclosed, one for each time the word 'koinonia' is used in the bible and it is surrounded by Malachi 3:16, the verse that shows the terms true meaning.
Then those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name.
Malachi 3:16

The color green is pretty significant to me, it represents life. Life he gave to us, and life that is precious, as each of us are.  This painting is meant to give an image to what it means to commune or fellowship with Christ and one another. It also has a very relevant meaning, at least for me, in light of what has happened in Haita. 

During the past few days, as I worked on it, I watched the news about the suffering in Haiti and was heartbroken. As the news and pictures played over and over on the screen the reporters began to interview survivors and this is what I heard several of them say, "Glory to God, for he saved me, thank you Jesus."  I just smiled and knew, God is with them. And as I smiled the news changed and I heard lots of people singing. I looked at the t.v. and in awe, saw hundreds of Haitian women and children walking and singing in the street. Surrounded by devastation and death, they chose to rise up, gather together, and sing out for life!  Pat Robertson may believe that those people have forsaken God, but I for one saw enough love, compassion, and gratitude for God to make me know Haitians are filled with it. CNN even has an interview of one Haitian girl saying, "I never stopped praying!"
God showed me, as I painted this cross, koinonia in action, and tears came to my eyes as I imagined the courage it took for those ladies to stand up for life. 

My prayer for all who will see or receive this cross is this, 
"May our God that is incapable of anything but his very best toward you, share the spirit of koinonia with you, so that you will be able to share it with others. May you be filled with love and compassion for one another, and may that love and compassion multiply throughout the Earth until every person that draws breathe will know it."