Wear Your Own Crown

I am beginning to wonder if we are spit right out of the womb with the need to compare ourselves to others. Now, I know that isn't the case, but even in my young 3rd grade students they ask all the time, "Is it good Mrs. Goodwin?" "Is it as pretty as hers?" It stops me in my tracks...cold. Adults do this too, heck, we all do it to some extent, but especially new artists who are just beginning to get their brush wet. 

10 years ago when I started to teach myself to paint I wasn't as involved online as I am now. I didn't have all the images of beautiful artwork rushing through my stream each day. I can honestly say, I didn't have the urge to think if it was better than so and so's or not, I just wanted it to look good. But wanting it to look good was a desire connected to my internal voice of needing to be valued, needing to be significant, needing to know that my effort was worth it. 

I can't say when or how, but at some point I figured out that for me, it wasn't as much about getting it to look right as it was about the process of making the art. I wish I could share this ability with new artists, and children, so that they could reconnect with just having fun, just making marks, just enjoying the gift of creativity. As a teacher, it gives me a ton to mediate on....to pray about, and to send forward. 

This morning, as I started my journal page, the section in this book that I chose to work on was Figurative Painting. "Perspectives on the Arts" was written in 1961 and the very first sentence of the chapter written by Stephen Tillman reads as follows, "Young artists today live with a very strong sense of who is in and who is out." 53 years ago, in regards to painting and being a professional artist the same stigma applied and it makes me wonder if the cave men felt jealous over who was making the better, bigger, or prettier marks. Comparison steals our joy. It turns those negative voices in our heads on full blast and turns off the ones guiding us on our best path. 

Crowns seemed to fit these pages, the figures appeared to be powerful, and the juxtaposition of the two figures picking flowers beside the male figures of prominence gave me a twinge. As the marks flowed I felt inclined to consider how we wear crowns, how we strive to wear other people's crowns, and what can I do, as a teacher, to help those caught in the vicious cycle of comparison. The concept is complicated, it isn't easy to solve, but I believe in my heart it must be dealt with. Our true gifts and hearts are worth fighting for. 

From Ice to Angels Art Journal Page

It has been an incredible two days so far as Alabama is pretty much iced and snowed in. This is a view of our back yard and believe it or not, that is ice, not snow. I can't step foot out the door because it is so dangerous to walk on so I simply enjoy this oddity from afar. Thankfully, the respite has given me lots of uninterrupted journaling time! 

My kitchen table had this great view of the light pouring in which cast a turquoise glow on everything, including my sparkly mini tree that I keep up year your just because it makes me happy, :) The color palette of turquoise, orange, red, and dark gave me so much fodder for my new page too! 

These two pages, being part of my Perspective On The Arts Altered Book, are images by  Georges Braque. As a collage artist he is one of my faves and actually was father of the method called Papier collé. 

This type of collage specifically is created by the use of gluing paper, so for these two pages I wanted to embrace paper collage, cubism, and fauvism in celebration of this master painter. 

Although I had my color palette set I chose to be a bit looser with my concept and allow the idea to evolve rather than having a set 'topic' to cover. I loved the image of the lady in red with the scissors as well as the shadow of the gentlemen in black. 

As the page developed I used cubed shaped pieces for the base, went back and forth between the larger images and their importance, and then the idea to dwell on angels came to me after I found a piece of hand painted paper with the colors that I was looking for appeared in my bag....like magic, :) Once that piece was found, I knew where the page was going, especially in light of the nightmare experiences many of my Alabama friends had had over the previous 24 hours. 

My belief in angels is near and dear to me as I have had several experiences in my lifetime where nothing but the existence of angels could explain them, and I am grateful for a faith that allows me to share that. This page is one of my favorites, for its message, for its colors, for the entire experience of praying for folks while I made it. Each person interprets journal pages as they need to, and I trust that process. Hope this one speaks to many of you. 

You can view my entire book of pages for this journal in my Facebook album and see their steps in progress HERE.

You can also view my pages on my website as well here. 

Seeking Perfection Art Journal Page

It's the Deep South friends and we are hunkered down expecting an ice storm and possibly snow for the first time in 15 years. To my friends up north I say be patient with us, we southern folk are not used to the white stuff and moaning and complaining and rejoicing at the hint of snow is in our second nature. For me, two unexpected days off of work gave me a chance to paint, so I am THRILLED for snowpocalypse! 

Although I had wanted to create a snow inspired art journal page these images on my desk of girls with forlorn and piercing faces kept catching my eye, as if they were calling out to me to speak for them. I had seen several posts this week in my social networking circles about the nightmare of seeking perfection, photoshoping the perfect face, and on and on. It gave me much fodder to consider what exactly we are doing to ourselves in thinking we must look 'artificially beautiful' to be valued. 

I opted to start sketching around the four faces and gave a lot of thought to the fact that this was a church. We worship....through our faith, but sadly we worship the media, fashion, and the quest for that perfect look. I say perfect a lot here because that is what the voices in our head make us run like rats to cheese for doesn't it? As the page evolved I began to like the muted color palette and decided to embrace the neutrals rather than go for rainbow, which is a different path for me. 

My paints flowed, the marks worked, and I left this page knowing I would rather go out into the world au natural than be under the foot of the media circus. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy getting dolled up on occasion but I am not a slave to feeling as if I must look a certain way to fit it. Makes me wonder how mom's with daughters do it these days. 

You can view more of my art journal pages HERE! 

It's All In How You Look At It Art Journal Page

This turned out to be the weirdest page ever, hahaha. My intent was to showcase an ambiguous figure at our table in the backyard serving fruit and I chose to use one set of my pages that had color fields for backgrounds. The sketch started out with water soluble graphite 6B, which I didn't mind, but as it dried, the images seemed pale, which was frustrating. I also had to deal with the spine of this book, so I opted to use it as a tree that we have along the fence line and place it in the foreground. 

I continued to sketch objects, the fence, the hanging swing, the foliage, but the more I tinkered with the color, the muddier it got and the more I hated it. Two instances I actually placed Titanium White directly on the page to block out the background, it was bad, and then I decided to slam the book shut and let the wet paint just merge. 

Wish I would have snapped a shot of that epic muddy mess, but unexpectedly, the moment came where I knew what to do and I forgot to grab the camera. Rather than just start over, I began scrubbing this page...and I mean scrubbing. Pages in this journal are 140lb. watercolor paper so I wasn't afraid of messing the paper up, I just sprayed water, scrubbed, sprayed water and scrubbed. What this did was give the background an aged look, still a bit muddy, but I liked it. The marks in the paint stood out, the text came through, and as I was heading to blow it dry, my eye caught a glimpse of what this page looked like turned another direction. 

Yep, the diving platform was right there and I had just so happened to sketch several from my trips to the pool, so I felt this part of backyard living or embracing the summer was calling out to me. The pool was there, the post, it just seemed to fall into place. I sketched back over it all, added the diver, added the large text which I love, and then glazed transparent Golden Fluids to alter the colors. What is totally weird about it, even though I am done, is that when it is turned back the first way, I still see the backyard, the chair, the fence, and it's as if a window is hanging offering a view from the deck. Go figure. 

I learned a lot with this journal page:
1. Giving up and starting over is not always the best idea...work through the mud.
2. Turning a page is often a saving grace. 
3. The spine of a book is a pain in the butt in some cases, opt for a sewn book or work around it. 
4. Water soluble graphite does not mark well on glossy acrylic, opt for cheaper, flat paint. 

Last night I played around with a limited set of tools....one black Sharpie, 4 Neon paint pens, and my journal with blue painters tape. Now this process, I loved, but I was used to painting on a dark background so that didn't scare me one bit. The perspective was easier to grab hold of and the neon on the tape made this piece have a glow in the dark illusion to it. I may try some pages with black paint. I most likely wont use the painters tape again because as the brilliant Juliana Coles pointed out, it does not always stick well to paper. Duh...totally forgot that. 

Regardless, I am a firm believer that if you wish to become a better painter, you MUST sketch every day and/or work in an art journal. It gives you the freedom to try new things, improves your skill set, and teaches you what doesn't work before you head for your canvas. Go out and sketch....the toilet, sketch something, ;) 

Journaling, Workshops, and Sketching, Oh My!

Well, there are days and then.....there are days. If you know me personally, then most likely you know some hint of my medical journey, my miraculous medical journey. One day I will write it out, the craziness of it, the unexpected miracles along the way, but for today, I just chose to spend some time journaling about it, or at least about the spine. 

The amount of x-rays I have filed on my computer would convince someone that I was studying to become a Radiologist of some sort. I 'collected' my own, used them when I taught Science, and have a folder of them on my FB page so that home school friends can show their kids what fusions, joint replacements, and screws look like. I even have a plan that when this body decides to kick the bucket, it will go to a local med school so I can leave the world teaching. 

This morning, after choosing the next page in my book, which just so happens to be a chapel, I decided to sketch two versions of my spine, the lumbar and cervical, but not anatomically correct. I basically wanted to get a combination of the screws and plates combined with the hips and brain, but in a really loose, Sharpie sketch process. I then decided to write out some thoughts on living with chronic pain and my journey of kicking 14 meds a day down to one. Life today looks nothing like it did 5 years ago. Yes, there is always pain, but I have come to understand it now, not fight it, and that has allowed me to create, share, teach, and go places I truly never thought I could go again. Oh, and to the doctor who said once upon a time....you are looking at paralysis in both legs....boooyah. I know they have to tell us worst case scenarios but really, tell us with less excitement next time.

Next step, after ghosting the text with gesso, I began to sketch other figures, float in some transparent colors with Golden Fluids, and used my new, neon paint pens to highlight and isolate the screws/pins. I then collaged a few pieces on top, added some more juicy tidbits, and let the page rest. I am considering creating an entire series using my own spinal anatomy, we will see. 

You can view the entire journal with work in progress steps on my FB Profile page

As part of Juliana Coles 'Field Notes' workshop, we are sketching the world around us every day. I have incorporated the sketch practice as part of my daily pages, and am finding that it is transforming my artistic style by leaps and bounds. I doubt I would have pushed myself to sketch as often if it were not for this workshop so I am totally loving the impact it is having on me! These are a few 5-10min sketches I have done with my mini travel kit that stays in my purse. It makes riding in the car or sitting in waiting rooms the perfect time to sketch. 

Yesterday I was able to go and teach a fantastic  torn paper collage workshop in Ocean Springs at the Mary C. O'Keefe Cultural Arts Center. It was lovely, the students were eager, pushed their comfort zones a bit to loosen up, and I do believe everyone was thrilled with their works when they headed out. This type of workshop does my heart good. We talk tips, shortcuts, impact, intent, and products, all within the context of having fun, slinging paint, spreading glue, and ripping paper. What could be more fun? 

I will be teaching other workshops at the Mary C. as well as in Mobile this summer and fall, so if you are looking to attend one, you can visit my website for all the details! 
Hope your Sunday is full of love for yourself and others, and hope the bones of your serenity stay strong as ever. 

Art Journal Page - Walk Into The Light

I am so excited to be taking Juliana Coles 'FieldNotes' workshop!  I chose a 1962 book for my journal practice, "Perspectives on the Arts" which has a marvelous section in it about the Dadaist and their profound impact on art and society. 

Because the book I chose is rather large, 144 pages, I am choosing to fill it with my workshop practice and my daily journal practice and so far, I am loving the thought of combining the two. Today's page has lots of internal meaning for me, is a sketch of my kitchudio, and a few other unexpected life fragments between walking into the light or living in shadows.

There is a combination of collage, photo transfers, markers, acrylic paints, and graphite on today's page. Makes me want to dive right in! 

My next entry was all about Marcel Duchamp and his take on Nothingness. Gave me a lot to consider and I really took my time sketching my view along with thinking through what all he meant by that. His viewpoint has inspired me to study the Dadaists at length. 

You can view my first two pages of the journal HERE