It has been almost two months since I created, painted, or delved into that whimsical world of mine that is as much a part of me as my faith. Actually, I believe they are intertwined, and the time has been oppressive. That doesn't mean I have laid wailing and whining about a horrible life, on the contrary. My life is blessed beyond measure. It simply means there are parts of us, that make us each unique, and when one or more of those parts slip away, the person begins to fade just a bit. In my world, I hate to fade.
One week ago I had my neck fused. Surgery isn't new to me, but what that means in reality is that the creative process will take a bit longer to come back full circle. This morning, I went into my studio, lit a candle, and breathed in God and breathed out everything else. I have missed this place. The place of being surrounding by color, and potential, and imagination, but mostly the place where God is in the midst of it. As I sat, I pulled out a quote by Ira Glass and spent a long, southern bit of time pondering it, kinda like my grandpa used to do on the front porch in his rocking chair.
What I gained from this is that part of healing is loving myself enough to believe a snail's pace is perfect for now. I may draw a line on a paper, I may simply dream in color, watch the sun dance through my colored glass window, or I might even go back to my all time love of Play-doh. No matter the pace or the product, the beauty is that for me, creativity doesn't have to be limited to making a painting or a collage. It is simply part of who I am, part of my beautiful world, and God has been surrounding me with it the entire time.
It is easy to feel defeated. Physical pain can zap my zeal in an instant. Emotional and Mental Pain can completely debilitate me. But for today, I am choosing to embrace my creativity in much smaller ways, find the juicy tidbits of joy that surround me, and give myself permission to create anything, knowing full good and well the best of me will show itself when it is meant to. In that I am content.